Recently, we’ve been doing a bit of prospecting, which has meant trawling the SERPs looking for SEO agencies. Frankly, I’ve been pretty shocked by just how bad some of these sites are, so I decided to compile a list of the most offensive things you can have on an agency website.
iStock images
Take some real pictures of your staff and your quirky, beanbag-filled office, don’t resort to naff iStock images like these:
The Yuppie – The internet didn’t even exist when this lad was toting his Filofax and a house brick sized Motorola. He makes you look more like Trotters Independent Traders than a reputable agency:
Fruit – What does fruit have to do with SEO, or for that matter any other B2B service?? Oh look, it’s an apple but actually there’s an orange inside it – you must be a really innovative and forward-thinking company! Although you’re not, because your website looks like it hasn’t been updated since the days of dial-up.
Generic phone woman – If I had a pound for every time I have seen this young lady…
Silly names
Why do so many agencies feel the need to give themselves a ridiculous name? Over the past few years we’ve seen a pattern emerging, with the following formula:
colour or adjective + animal + ‘solutions’, ‘media’, ‘creative’ (delete as applicable)
We used this to create our silly agency name generator game.
Guaranteed first page rankings
Even those with very limited SEO knowledge will know that even God himself couldn’t guarantee a first page ranking, don’t insult your customers’ intelligence by claiming that you can.
Long tail keywords
Any SEO agency that’s worth its salt will be able to give some great examples of generic phrases that they’ve achieved rank on. When that keyword is ‘Skip hire in the north west’, you’re not impressing anybody.
Defunct search engines
Let’s be honest, people only really care about Google, and at a push Yahoo! & Bing. Mentions of Altavista and Ask Jeeves make your agency look well past its sell by date.





Don’t forget the “adwords certified” logo as proof of their SEO prowess
Guaranteed page one listing with a keyword phrase 6 words long that no one is ever gonna type into the big G.
Anyone who is any good at SEO would never need to offer their services to anyone.
How could I forget the terms ‘SEO Rockstar’ or ‘Guru’ *shudders*.
Why do so many agencies feel the need to give themselves a ridiculous name? Over the past few years we’ve seen a pattern emerging, with the following formula:
SEO
It doesn’t matter where in the world you are, SEO UK techniques and tactics are the same. The manner and professionalism with which they are implement.
Here’s the 6th. Not styling up your blog the same as the rest of your site